From tonysounds@yahoo.com Thu Dec 16 10:49:51 2004
Subject:Iraq N Roll 5.0

Desert Tony once again.....

After we left Striker, we bussed it to our quarters for the nite -Saddam's guest palace, right across the moat from his main digs (or one of them anyway). It's around midnite, so its pretty dark and we can't see too much from the outside. But the front door is massive: about 20 feet tall, with another 5 feet of stained glass on top of that. Marble flooring, a huge chandelier, and about 3 steps and you're out of the foyer and into the hallway and main lobby area. All marble floors, ornate woodworking and gaudy chandeliers at first give you the impression of extreme opulence. A long hallway leads you to numerous bedroom suites all decorated with the same furniture, just in different color schemes. Queen beds with matching armoires and a chair or two fill every bedroom. The furniture is pretty gaudy, but occasionally, a good piece materializes: I suppose if you buy enough crap, you're bound to get something good now and then.

About 20 feet down the hallway we come to a sitting room with a marble fireplace, a pretty hilarious couch for 12 and some loveseats, and a pair of ridiculous gazing balls. Oh yeah, it's raised up about 6 steps, so it really commands your attention. Opposite the sitting room is a formal dining room. A long table for roughly 24 people and high back chairs dominates this room; forget "dominates it', it's the whole damn room. Further down the hall a smaller dining area, more of a serving area probably, sits just before a modest kitchen, especially for one servicing a dining room for 24 people. Another massive hallway in marble leads you to more bedroom suites of the same type, then up a couple steps, and you're at the end suite of rooms. These are a bit more substantial. Marble floors (detect a pattern yet?), very large rooms, the same type of furniture, but the armoires are big enough that the whole band can get into them. I suggest we shoot a little video of us doing just that,
and jumping out ala the Monkees, but we never get around to it. The room we get to sleep in is probably 40 x 40, and it's one of the smaller ones. Same furniture, white with gold trim; oh, did I mention all the gold is painted on? LMAO!!!! The matching armoire also has a matching desk and chair. The bathrooms are interesting as well. Matching toilets and bidets, usually in a fantastically gaudy floral pattern, the potties are elongated as opposed to our more familiar rounder seats. Small, unenclosed showers with plastic curtains add an elegant touch to these garish examples of tackiness. Just think Graceland, without the 70s as an excuse. Oh yeah, the showers are cold too. The back "deck" as it were is on the moat overlooking Saddam's main palace. One thing though: the ceiling moulding is intricately hand carved and painted and looks pretty cool.

On Monday, we choppered via Blackhawk to our second show Baghdad. Camp Patriot is on the site of Saddam's secret police headquarters and prison. The guys give us a tour and even though it's empty, it's a horrifying example of tyranny run amok. The Cliff Notes version: 30+ to a cell with no cots. No heat or AC. Mouth off or do something wrong, and you get chained to a door outside in the elements, and either die of heat exposure in 3 or 4 days, or if you're lucky, you're out there in the winter. Not so good. Saw torture rooms, other rooms for "interrogation", and saw the cells where they would hold 15/20 Chinese workers who had been contracted to work in Baghdad; when their work was finished, passports were confiscated and they were held in these cells. The walls were filled with Chinese calligraphy, and the other cells were filled with arabic graffiti as well. Bad mojo here. Our men and women did a pretty good job of blowing stuff up here. These buildings are still
standing, but strategic placement of a hit here and there pretty much render the site useless as is. Good thing. Our show goes over well, and is at a theatre across from the police station. First equipment casualty, a $5 power strip. Well, not exactly....I forgot Rez' snare fell victim first at Striker. The base Chaplain at Camp Patriot loans his snare (also broken) for the show. The Colonel dispatched one of his minions to find Rez a snare at the local Iraqi bazaar, and it's waiting for us when we return. (This is not the only time the Colonel will perform some magic for us!). After the show, a Blackhawk chopper ride at nite back to our rooms at "The Palace", and then we trek to Saddam's main palace to repay the man who found the snare.

Details on Saddam's place next!
T


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